This new Trend in the Homosexual Men Matchmaking: The choices Analysis

Do you know the relationships of younger homosexual guys for example today? It may be believe it or not difficult to answer it matter with confidence. Nothing studies are being done on the gay men partners-the way they create and keep their relationships, whatever they think of monogamy and you can wedding, whatever they trust towards attitudes of the co-workers.

I did a personal-financed investigation this year called Beyond Monogamy. I planned to know more about the fresh new skills out-of enough time-label non-monogamous men people. Just like the we were exploring much time-title matchmaking, we had, because of the meaning, an adult cohort participate in the research. But get married started reading you to definitely young gay guys had particular different perspectives. This present year, we complete all of our Choices research, hence focused on gay males age 18-40 and you can searched thinking and you can means on monogamy and wedding.

I discover a lot of interesting something. Younger gay men do really worth monogamy more than their more mature equivalents. However they have confidence in marriage. Most are applying a habit we name “becoming monogamish”-nearly monogamous, yet not available. Nearly all of our participants believe that communicating with lovers regarding the its intimate lifestyle is an essential section of which have a profitable matchmaking.

Our very own analysis plus affirmed the beautiful and creative variety included in amolatina recenzja male couples. I think this is certainly tips proper coping with homosexual boys, and young gay men by themselves. Such boys found various ways to construct solid, suit and enjoying relationship-measures we feel might be utilized for every communities.

Monogamy and Marriage Are extremely Common

Even when we’d heard anecdotally you to more youthful males had been curious in monogamy, we were astonished at exactly how prevalent it was. Eighty-six per cent out-of lovers demonstrated its relationship due to the fact monogamous-compared to 31-50% off couples certainly earlier years. One of unmarried respondents in our survey, 90% were positively trying to monogamous matchmaking.

We and read one to ong partners, 77% were both married, during the home-based partnerships or gonna ong most of the respondents, 62% told you most of their couples friends is partnered or browsing get married.

Monogamy is a conscious and you will Deliberate Possibilities

Ahead of i checked out our very own questionnaire performance, we’d specific belief one monogamy came into existence sort of “default” option for many more youthful gay guys. We imagine maybe this was a consequence of consumption-getting a lot more included in the entire people powered a propensity to copy conventional heterosexual habits, such as the presumption you to definitely partners is monogamous.

We receive, in the event, one monogamous people (76% of our respondents) have been completely aware of and also make that solutions. You will find little “default” about this. These were alert to other available choices and you will norms and you may was choosing becoming monogamous. Brand new guys along with delivered big attention to steps who keep the matchmaking strong within an excellent monogamous model.

These types of provided the necessity of interacting frankly and sometimes throughout the for example something once the acknowledging internet, just how to manage temptations so you’re able to stray, and remaining the gender lifestyle together with her effective and you may satisfying through the years. Which commitment to constant correspondence produced plenty of depth so you can these relationships.

Imagined advantages of being monogamous included this prompts trust, shelter and you may closeness, it “feels proper,” and that it reduces conflict and you can jealousy. A number of participants mentioned deeper greeting of the family relations otherwise deeper value away from family relations and/or neighborhood at-large.

The brand new Monogamish Option

In the quantitative section of so it survey (and that we held basic), a tiny however, large number off lovers described themselves due to the fact monogamous as they had unexpected about three-indicates or sex with others outside the relationships. We had been interested in this.

We conducted the second, qualitative questionnaire so you’re able to explore it. Inside survey, we questioned participants to help you worry about-choose while the (1) monogamous, (2) non-monogamous, or (3) monogamous but kept “loosely”-monogamish. Homosexual columnist Dan Savage first coined the expression “monogamish” (Savage calls it “generally monogamous with a little squish around the edges”).